Thursday, January 04, 2007

Militia men

Men in uniform.
I've never really understood why women obsess about them.
I dread the military, think they fill no purpose and how sad are the people that willingly and eagerly sign up to get killed for a country that doesn't give a rat's butt about them. The guy can be hot, but when in any form of uniform I can't help but thinking "sorry fuck, he sold his soul to the devil and all he got was a lousy hair cut".

Anyyyyway, I got a call yesterday from a guy I dated back when I went to school in Switzerland. He was in the Austrian army then, now he trains their navy seals. I prefered him incognito, no uniform, nothing to reveal his sad choice of path in life. But I liked him because he had muscles in places I had no idea they could grow. I made him break up with me, beacuse I was lazy.. I called him 'an extended SS-officer in a German colony' and the Austrian government 'Hitler's long lost string puppets', which I knew would make him stop loving me. But this was way back, and he'd gotten over it. Last time he'd called was on xmas 2 years ago - from a brothel. He'd given his top soldiers gift certificates there and was waiting in the bar with a cranberry juice.
"Hmm.. I just realized I kinda miss you".
If it was the juice or the environment that made him reminisce, I wouldn't know.

Either way, he was in the city and we made plans to meet up for a drink. As I ran out to my cab I realized I should txt hubby I wouldn't make it to our planned dinner. Said and done.
Me and my Austrian mate laughed away at old memories for hours and many drinks, and I didn't even look at my cell. Back outside, when the bar closed, I said a heartfelt goodbye to my friend by squeezing his buttocks and I heard my cell ring.
"Where the hell are you"? it was a voice full of despair. "I've called 415 times! I was so worried you'd relapsed!"
Hubby had been driving around, going from my fave bar to the other. I gave him the address I was at and less than 1 minute later his car came to a halt beside me.
I was too emberessed to make eye-contact and looked at my MJ-clad feet.
"Here honey", he said and suddenly there was a big boquet of red roses in my hands. "I'm sorry I yelled at you.. it's just.. today was our anniversary, of when we first met, and I'd planned a whole night to surprise you".
I cried tears of joy while mumbling 'sorry' over and over again into his suit. Tomorrow I will make all this up to him by ordering him a new boat to be delivered in spring. Yes, that's the least I can do for my love. Maybe I should also get him a sailor's uniform, complete with the tilted mini hat - the only uniform that makes me swoon.

4 comments:

Alice said...

I'm a big fan of men in the military, just because they are real men! They fight for YOUR freedom, and you think they are pathetic? Hmm..

Anonymous said...

Your comment on the military is, without a doubt, the most ignorant and self-absorbed comment I think I have ever read in a blog.

As the old saying goes, "Freedom isn't free." Regardless of what you think about current US military involvement in Iraq, the military does -- always has and always will -- serve a necessary purpose in our society.

I guarantee you would not be a well-off "trophy wife" today if thousands of military men (and women) did not give up their lives in our wars of the past.

Anonymous said...

blow me

Anonymous said...

lol this blog is fiction guys, dont get so upset.