Men in uniform.
I've never really understood why women obsess about them.
I dread the military, think they fill no purpose and how sad are the people that willingly and eagerly sign up to get killed for a country that doesn't give a rat's butt about them. The guy can be hot, but when in any form of uniform I can't help but thinking "sorry fuck, he sold his soul to the devil and all he got was a lousy hair cut".
Anyyyyway, I got a call yesterday from a guy I dated back when I went to school in Switzerland. He was in the Austrian army then, now he trains their navy seals. I prefered him incognito, no uniform, nothing to reveal his sad choice of path in life. But I liked him because he had muscles in places I had no idea they could grow. I made him break up with me, beacuse I was lazy.. I called him 'an extended SS-officer in a German colony' and the Austrian government 'Hitler's long lost string puppets', which I knew would make him stop loving me. But this was way back, and he'd gotten over it. Last time he'd called was on xmas 2 years ago - from a brothel. He'd given his top soldiers gift certificates there and was waiting in the bar with a cranberry juice.
"Hmm.. I just realized I kinda miss you".
If it was the juice or the environment that made him reminisce, I wouldn't know.
Either way, he was in the city and we made plans to meet up for a drink. As I ran out to my cab I realized I should txt hubby I wouldn't make it to our planned dinner. Said and done.
Me and my Austrian mate laughed away at old memories for hours and many drinks, and I didn't even look at my cell. Back outside, when the bar closed, I said a heartfelt goodbye to my friend by squeezing his buttocks and I heard my cell ring.
"Where the hell are you"? it was a voice full of despair. "I've called 415 times! I was so worried you'd relapsed!"
Hubby had been driving around, going from my fave bar to the other. I gave him the address I was at and less than 1 minute later his car came to a halt beside me.
I was too emberessed to make eye-contact and looked at my MJ-clad feet.
"Here honey", he said and suddenly there was a big boquet of red roses in my hands. "I'm sorry I yelled at you.. it's just.. today was our anniversary, of when we first met, and I'd planned a whole night to surprise you".
I cried tears of joy while mumbling 'sorry' over and over again into his suit. Tomorrow I will make all this up to him by ordering him a new boat to be delivered in spring. Yes, that's the least I can do for my love. Maybe I should also get him a sailor's uniform, complete with the tilted mini hat - the only uniform that makes me swoon.