Wednesday, May 25, 2005

The planet is once again in orbit

I haven't seen hubby since our Aussie trip... which was an eternity ago! He's off on business again and I miss him. Sometimes I question whether actually I miss him or just miss having companion. Whichever the reason, the result is a strong craving for male attention. If I walk down a street and a man neglects to check me out, it can ruin my whole day! Fear of rejection is my biggest pet peeve and being neglected is, if possible, even worse.

My neighbour, a single business exec in his 30's, never once shot me a glance other than the casual nod to substitute a hello in the lift. Regardless of how I pouted, bent forward to pick up something revealing my fit legs and behind, licked and bit my red luscious lips and even rubbed my erected nipples against him (all this by 'mistake' of course). His persistent resistance drove me insane and even though every other man on the planet dropped dead at my feet all I wanted was just a tiny bit of attention from this mission impossible. I spent hours awake at night wondering what was wrong with me.. until I realized.
The next day I ran into him (naturally by 'accident') in the hallway.
"Sir, excuse my bluntness, but I'm European, plus I really need to know... are you gay?"
He nodded, this time with a smile.
I had kept wondering what was wrong with me, when the right question all along had been what was wrong with HIM! I slept so well that night, reassured that I was still every (straight) man's dream!

Friday, May 20, 2005

Wax on - Wax off

(Beware, the writer is on valium while writing this...)

Ok. Aaaow. Seriously. The things we do for men! Beautiful women suffer severly, as it is inevitable; no pain - no game.
Twist our feet in stilettos, botox injections, shave excessively, go through hours of hair and make-up every morning, work hard on appearing naturally beach blonde and fighting cellulites.... and the men don't notice a thing - until the one time you forget to shave your legs! You'd be glad if he doesn't divorce you straight away.

Ok, so this hair removal obsession is getting out of hand. I just came back from my butch russian waxers. Today I had scheduled an session for the whole shebang - all at once. No, seriously, I had one lady vaxing my legs meanwhile another one did my armpits, then they moved on to crotch and eye-brows. I thought if I had pain in various parts of my body simultaneously they might strike each other out. Let's just say my plan backfired.
I am now numb and drugged up. If you can't get rid of the pain - strike up some pleasure to compete with it at least... so now there's only one thing to do - bring out my dear friend 'the rabbit' and enjoy the rest of the day.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Time flies... but it's not all fun..

Oh my, I have been gone forever! Not sure anyone missed my posts, but it doesn't matter, it's my therapheutical diary. My reason for disappearing for a month is pretty legit though, my daddy passed. It's as sad as it sounds and I left for Australia the minute I got the news he was very ill.
I cried all through the flight, first because there was just carbs in all the food they served, plus 1st class was crammed and I had to sit next to a fat man. Fat people sweat a lot and their fatty sweat reeks and when you're already upset this was all I needed to explode. Luckily I had smuggled with me some valium.
Hubby was naturally away on business and I called him from JFK to let him know. He said he'd try to reschedule and join me en route. It wasn't possible until a week later, but just the fact that he'd chose supporting me over work was comforting enough. We stayed on dad's farm to gather some strength and also dealt with the lawyers to make sure the mansion, horses and furniture was sold properly. It's so sad, there I had my own horse named after me, whom daddy said "just like you, she has a marvellous genealogical table". Hubby had to leave after a week so dad's widow brought me up to their villa on the Goldcoast, where I used to live and it brought back sweet memories. Sun, sand, surfers and in daddy's honour I drank the finest whiskey every night.
When someone you've known all your life goes on there is automatically an empty space. I've always been my daddy's girl and there is a void. Hubby is now, more than ever, the one that has to keep my credit cards in balance, tell me how wonderful I am and listen to me whine about how fat people shouldn't be allowed on flights.
A month in Australia and too much sun and whiskey took its' toll on me. I overheard my own door man say I'd turned hippie! Daddy is dearly missed, but he'd want me to go on my socialite ways just the same - with or without him, and that's what I intend to do!